Oct 31, 2015
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Best Crazy, Weird, Strange, Birthday Quotes, Wishes & Sayings

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Best Crazy, Weird, Strange, Birthday Quotes, Wishes & Sayings


Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, “Happy Birthday.”

In some cultures, age is a sign of distinction that demands respect. Tell me. How many years of respect do I owe you?

The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?” Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!” “Really? like a newborn baby?” “Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”

You look different. Did you lose some weight? Did you change your hairstyle? Did you get a haircut? There is something different about you. Oh, I know. You are one year older!

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

Don’t blow the candles, the fire department is on their way to do this job.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

What a great presence! What a remarkable intelligence! What charm, and what beautiful eyes! But, enough about me. Happy Birthday!

How about I just give you cash and we call it even?

How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!

You try a lot to look younger, but still you look older. Enjoy your day.

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

In the bathroom? In the toilet? On your desk? On the fireplace? At 40, it is still a great achievement to remember where the car keys are! All the best!

You may look old, but your heart is evergreen. You are only twenty if we count the age of your heart. Live as long as you wish.

You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired.

One compensation of old age is that it excuses you from picnics.

When asked how old I am I reply, “Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again!”

The nature has kept this day special because you are permitted to eat as much cake as you can.

Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!

Here are more funny birthday messages. Some of these are smart humored and others are low ball humor.

Like good wine, you get better with the years.

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.

Birthdays are like girlfriends, they come and go- unless you enjoy them.

From our birthday, until we die, Is but the winking of an eye.

At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.

It’s always good to have a birthday, but to me it’s another chance to eat lots more cakes.

No one holds a candle to you on your birthday. That’s because you’re probably already hot from all the candles on your cake.

You are so old that I don’t think you would be able to find a bigger cake that fits all the candles together.

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.

Shouldn’t you get your mom something on your birthday? It’s your birthday, but it’s her Mother’s day!

Very early, I knew that the only object in life was to grow.

Your relatives are all here to wish you a great celebration. I ordered them from Japan, but they are still here.

Einstein said that not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted. So stop counting and have a great birthday. Age is relative! (I think he said that, too.)

So, it’s another birthday with you. Statistics prove that those who have earned more birthdays, have lived the longest life in the earth.

Another year, another new place that aches.

Have the best birthday anyone could expect to have at your age.

On this special day my duty is to call the fire department when you’ll blow out those fifty candles. I’m ready.

Have a fabulous day today, and remember: you cannot have sex just yet; you will need the energy to blow off your candles.

No one will stop tonight from eating your favorite items. Happy birthday.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

I was gonna make you a rum cake but now it’s just a cake and I’m drunk.

Happy Birthday! And don’t worry. Being another day older really only matters if you’re a piece of fruit.

People say that the good die young, so I guess that make you an old badass!

Wishing you a special day from your family. We will buy you something next year.

Some people make the world more beautiful just because they are part of it. Happy Birthday!

You’ve started forgetting things. It’s an indication that you are getting older. But that doesn’t mean that we will forget to celebrate your special day.

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.

Keep getting older, because aging a little each year beats the alternative.

You are the perfect example of how old people celebrate their birthday. There is plenty of food, but doctor has warned you not to eat any of those. Happy birthday!!

Let me wish you as the very first person. I don’t want anyone to do that before me.

Before The Clock Reach The 12,I Should Take The Opportunity, To Wish You A Brand New Year,Of Your Life �Happy Birthday.

You will find millions of people in this world and among them I would like to wish you a very happy birthday. Make it the best day of your life.

Wishing you enough air to blow out all of your candles.

Though science says that people starts losing their memory at the age of 41, but for you we can only hope. Ha ha!

Isn’t it time you bought the depends now!

Hope someday you’ll enjoy a delicious cake without any tooth.

You realize you are getting older when the candles on your cake are more expensive than the cake itself.

Look, so many candles on a so little cake.

Last week during the fire on that candle factory we all sang the song – “Happy birthday” to celebrate your birthday.

You’re so old that when you looked at your birth certificate, it said expired.

No matter how big or small the cake is. Remember that you get older every year.

Some special words on your birthday: keep smiling as long as you’ve those teeth.

Like a lot of other men my age I have been thirty for ten years now, but I’ve decided today’s the day to move up to thirty one! Come back in ten years and I’ll be turning thirty two.

I am wishing for you to wish for more wishes when you blow out your candles.

You are such a heart-warming, polite, honest, witty and unique person in this world. Receive my best wishes on your birthday and these little white lies.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. – Larry Lorenzoni

Shopping anything for your special day is always hard, so lets do it together today.

So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!

I wish you that every year the number of the candles decreases, while the number of the parties, cakes and Happy Birthday wishes grows!

Somebody told me you were hard to buy a present for. But heck, I know where the dollar store is.

I got you the ultimate gift…, unfortunately fell down the hole down with it.

I have been looking everywhere for a decent gift, but I found nothing suitable for someone as special as you, so accept a good thought and my best wishes, accompanied by a sincere “Happy Birthday!”

Kids wish to be older, adults wish to be younger.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Your next all birthday compliments will include these words “for your age”. It’s sad, but there is no way you can skip it.

1066, 1492, 1776, and…your birthday? The good news is that they aren’t teaching the date of your birth in history classes yet. The bad news is that means I don’t have the date memorized. Happy belated birthday!

Happy Birthday, have fun and just remember you’re only as young as you look so therefore you better have as much fun as you can and quick!

It’s your birthday and I think it’s the right time to remind you that my birthday is closing too. Happy birthday.

It’s your birthday. Have a buffet cake night and eat as much as you can.

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.

You must enjoy the cake, because you won’t get a second chance to enjoy that special item as you are under diet.

Turn the card over and you will find your gift…..sucker!

We turn not older with years, but newer every day.

Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it.

Wishing you a wonderful special day. I bought you a special gift this year….a cane

The usefulness of life is measured on its application, not in its length. Have a wonderful birthday.

I don’t understand why people get so bent out of shape over birthdays. If you think about it, it’s the other 364 days of the year that make people so old.

May you never stray from the true path as you continue your amazing journey. Happy birthday

This message does not contain fat, cholesterol or additives. It is entirely natural, but it contains much more sugar. However, it could never be nearly as sweet as the person who reads it. Smile and Happy Birthday!

I’ve decided to switch my vote from the (Republican/Democratic) party to your birthday party.

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

Too many candles on the cake means you are getting older too fast.

I just rewrapped the gift you got me last year…I hope you don’t mind.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.

There are lots of candles on the cake. So, I guess you need a big lungs to blow all them out.

There’s one main thing that makes people stop enjoying their own birthdays. That’s the day they realize that they will die some day. For that reason, I’m not going to bring up the fact that you aren’t getting any younger this year. I’ll just wish you a happy birthday.

Enjoy your senior citizen discounts. You deserve them.

Do you know what famous person was born on this very special day… I don’t know either. I only know of you.

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

There’s nothing funny about having a birthday and getting old when you ARE old. That’s why I am going to keep your birthday wishes totally serious.

Every once in a while, special people are put on this earth. People with deep passion, immense love for others. People with hearts much greater than average, and today, one of them would like to wish you a happy birthday. Happy Birthday.

If you have a birthday in the middle of the woods and no one is there to celebrate with you, then did you actually get older? Happy birthday, and have fun on your camping trip to the middle of nowhere.

People may wish you many things. I only wish you two: never and always. To never be sad, and to always be happy.

The younger you try to look, the older you actually are.

The best way of staying young is lying about your age.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

It’s another day 4 u. God picked another petals on your flower, wishing your flowers may bloom for year.

Hey if you think about it, ‘over the hill’ is not such a bad thing. After all, going downhill is a lot easier and more fun. Think of life as a roller coaster. Happy birthday.

On your birthday, resist the temptation to indulge in magical thinking. Buying a size 4 swimsuit will not make you thinner.

Of course you’re not old! You aren’t very young either.

Better to be over the hill than buried under it.

Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

I usually try to give people a birthday card that matches their age. Unfortunately, they were all out of the stone tablet and ancient papyrus greeting cards. I guess this more modern version will have to do.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

Best wishes on your day, better you than me.

Smile, it could be worse…think about what you’ll look like in ten years. Happy Birthday.

It’s better to be over the hill than 6 feet under it!

As you are getting older, you are becoming wiser. You know no wise man ever wishes to be young again.

Birthday Question: How old do you have to be before you can start blurting out your ailments to complete strangers?

Another year for your back means another year that won’t suck.

An old fart is as good as a new one.

There’s a correlation between aging and being dishonest about your age. So, on a scale of 1-100, how many years dishonest are you?

A gift, with a kind countenance, is a double present

Happy Birthday! Let’s do something different! You can be on the bottom.

I know your best birthdays are yet to arrive. Lets wait for those. Happy birthday.

I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

We don’t let Grandpa blow out his candles anymore since the year his dentures wound up in the cake.

Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can’t be changed..And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.

Some like sunday some like monday, but i like your birthday.happy birthday my sweetheart.

I feel jealous because you get the most wishes on birthday. Happy birthday.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

Act your age not your shoe size.

Hey, can you blow out all these candles by yourself or should I call our local fire department to help you in this regard.

At least you’re not as old as you will be next year! Happy birthday!!!

You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!.

That awkward moment when it’s your birthday and everyone is singing “Happy birthday to you” and you just stand there clueless of what to say.

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more Birthdays live longer.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Do you know why old men wear black socks with sandals? You’re one year closer to finding out. Happy Birthday.

It’s okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.

When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.

Original Happy Birthday Wishes

Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit . . . but check it for wrinkles first!

I’m just here for the cake.

They say only the good die young. I guess that means we’ll be around forever!

If all grandmas looked as good as you, nobody would care if they baked cookies.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Enjoy every moment, smile, be happy and remember one thing: today is the most special day of the year, so live it to the fullest!

What do you get the one person who has everything? How about a personality?!

Jack Benny said, “Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” But in your case, I think it matters; it matters a LOT!

Look, the number of candles is getting higher, but the cake is still too small. Happy birthday.

Have a great time on your birthday, and don’t worry about getting old.That happened years ago.

I never forget my wife’s birthday. It’s usually the day after she reminds me about it.

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents … and only one for birthday presents, you know.

Another year older, but unfortunately none wiser.

I have prepared your birthday cake and then called the fire department to blow out the candles on your cake.

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.

People often compare birthdays with boogers. Because, with the increase of its number, people find breathing harder.

When you are over the hill you pick up speed!

Did you really think that I forgot about a day as special as your birthday? I wholeheartedly send this birthday message and I assure you of my everlasting friendship!

I tried to find one of the best cards for you, but in the end I could manage only this. Have a wonderful celebration.

Can you remember those young, healthy and colorful days of our young age? It’s always feels awesome when you can recall all those memories.

Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

When I think of the word youth, I think of you. That’s because the word “you” is contained in the word “youth.” I hope you are feeling youthful on your birthday.

You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.

You look good for your age….how much did you pay Satan!

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui, and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.

Did you know that there are some really cool, smart, and important people born on your birthday? Unfortunately, it turns out that you are not one of those people.

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.

Hey I’m not saying you’re old… I’m just saying that if you were milk I’d smell you before I poured you on my cereal.

I would wish you, “May all your dreams come true,” but I am afraid that, if they do come true, I will have nothing to wish you next year.

Today one of your secret is going to be revealed. So, get ready for the blast. Happy birthday.

I wish I had remembered to get you a present. My memory must be going in your old age.

You are the person who surprises me most. I don’t know how you passed first one and a half year without talking a single word. Good luck!

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

If you want to look young and thin on your birthday . . . then hang around a bunch of old, fat people.

It’s time to say that I’m getting older when you find it’s tough to walk up the stairs. That’s true. Happy birthday.

Getting older and growing up are two very different things. One is still an option.

Who says you actually have to keep having birthdays? We all stop having them sometime. There’s a ton of people in the cemeteries that stopped celebrating birthdays a long time ago.

Do you know someone I should send a Happy Birthday message to, an anniversary or anything like that? If you do know of some parties, let me know, because I have not eaten cake lately and my blood sugar level is starting to drop!

Another year has gone, but that doesn’t mean you’ve become wiser.

No matter how old you become, still you are the smartest and best looking person in this entire world.

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

You are a person for whom it’s always tough to find a perfect gift. So, I decided not to bring anything expect this beautiful rose.

Don’t think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.

It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

If you wind up in jail after your birthday, here’s how you can tell who your friends are: Your good friends will visit you. Your great friends will come up with bail money. Me? I’ll be in the lower bunk.

I’m so glad your birthday will bring together all our friends at a time when my tan is fully realized.

Still your smile looks beautiful with those few remaining teeth. Happy birthday.

Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday . . . and assume I said them. Happy birthday!

May you have a healthy year, and because you do not have heat in your house, I wish you a warm Happy Birthday!

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.

May my friend on this special day be able to set all the jealous people on fire and use the flame to burn the candles and blow them off with a happy smile, a very happy and amazing day to you.

It’s okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.

Having a personal crisis or wondering about your life purpose is normal on your birthday. So you get to be normal for one day out of the year.

I never make any joke that is related to age. Because I know it hurts someone like you.

The most frustrating thing about becoming an old cynical person is that it is difficult to blame someone for it happening.

A well-adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she’s going to exchange it for.

Isn’t it funny how you end your life like the way you came out? You’re wrinkled, cold, and weak. Here’s to many more birthdays!

They say love is all you need… So I forgot to buy a birthday present. Happy Birthday!

On your birthday, a few wise words: smile while you still have teeth. Happy Birthday!

Stop counting the candles and start thinking about your wishes.

You by passed by birthday last year, so my present to you is the same in return.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn`t talk for a year and a half.

Happy Special birthday. I guess now we don’t look like twins anymore. I look better!

Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.

At the age of fifty, you are dancing like only twenty years old. You look amazing. Happy birthday.

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

The grim reaper has marked another hatch mark next to your name. Have a great birthday!

I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that you look good for your age. That’s what your relatives are for.

Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

It is older, but not better! Happy Birthday!

I made you a birthday cake to celebrate, but I couldn’t light the candles. It turns out the fire department requires a permit for bonfires.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half… Forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.

My golden words for your birthday… Smile while you still have teeth!

You are such a person who always reminds me the memories of my old days. I’ve never found a smart, funny and good looking person than you. Thank you for being with me.

The best secret that is yet to be revealed is your true age.

You are the one who has helped me a lot to walk through the rough roads of life. Thanks for everything you did for me including those fights.

You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar….. Yung No Mo

I know we both have grown very old now, but I hope you are not going to die before you taste the birthday cake.

Looking 50 is great . . . if you’re 60.

A true friend always remembers your birth date not the how old you are becoming. But believe me, I can remember both of them. I feel so special for this.

It’s better to be over the hill than to buried under it.

Time runs fast and you are getting older fast too. It seems only a few days when we were young. Now it’s hard to find a tooth in your mouth. Happy birthday.

Your small cake doesn’t have enough space to fit all those candles and also our appetite.

My budget is shot, so I figure the best way I can make your birthday really special is to give you some rug burns.

Some words of wisdom for your birthday: “Smile while you still have teeth!”

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake!

It’s getting tougher to see the cake due to the candles over it. Can you remember those days when you had only a few candles on it. Happy birthday.

The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.

With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.

Can you sniff all of these candles or should I call the fire department?

I wish you were older today… Oh, my wish came true!

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