Famous, Movie, Celebrity Wedding Wishes & Quotes

Famous, Movie, Celebrity Wedding Wishes & Quotes

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It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. – Robert Frost

“I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself but for what you are making of me.” – Roy Croft

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. Katharine Hepburn

“We were perfectly happy until we decided to live happily ever after.” – Sex and the City

“A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I’m gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens.” – Leann Rimes

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. Shelly Winters

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you’ll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. Ann Landers

Weddings are never about the bride and groom, weddings are public platforms for dysfunctional families. –Lisa Kleypas

Longed for him. Got him. Shit. –Margaret Atwood

A great marriage is not when the “perfect couple” comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. –Dave Meurer

I’d hate to be next door to Monica Seles on her wedding night. – Peter Ustinov

I am about to be married, and am of course in all the misery of a man in pursuit of happiness. –Lord Byron

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner

Never marry for money. Ye’ll borrow it cheaper. – Scottish Proverb

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married? –Barbra Streisand

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor

For a married woman to flirt is a sin. – Anna Held

Weddings to me are wondrous because they are so filled with tomorrows. -Mary Forsell

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. Cher

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. – Elizabeth I

For the couple that has been dating since high school: “Soul mates. It’s extremely rare, but it exists. It’s sort of like twin souls tuned into each other.” – What Dreams May Come

“We still love each other like we did when we first met. We’ve got amazing children…and we’re very happy. We manage it perfectly. Me and my wife–we’re very hands-on…We juggle our lives with our work and in our family, children always come first. So, it’s as simple as that.” — David Beckham

The breakdown of the black community, in order to maintain slavery, began with the breakdown of the black family. Men and women were not legally allowed to get married because you couldn’t have that kind of love. It might get in the way of the economics of slavery. Your children could be taken from you and literally sold down the river. – Kerry Washington

For the couple who fell in love on vacation: “Only one is a wanderer; two together are always going somewhere.” – Vertigo

When I meet a man I ask myself, ‘Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?’ Rita Rudner

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love…If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you’ll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.” – Ann Landers

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet. Mae West

Arthur Miller wouldn’t have married me if I had been nothing but a dumb blonde. Marilyn Monroe

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men. – Nikola Tesla

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time. – Chris Rock

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting. –Helen Rowland

For the groom no one expected to settle down: “I feel like men are more romantic than women. When we get married, we marry one girl, ’cause we’re resistant the whole way until we meet one girl and we think ‘I’d be an idiot if I didn’t marry this girl.’” – Blue Valentine

Some women pick men to marry, and others pick them to pieces. Mae West

For the clown in your group, when he finally gets married: “Husbands are like wine; they take a long time to mature.” – Letters to Juliet

“Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats. Woody Allen

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. – Jackie Mason

Weddings remind us that our lives have meaning and that love is the strongest bond, the happiest joy, and the loveliest healing we can ever experience. -Daphne Rose Kingma

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. Doug Larson

For the couple who will know exactly what ‘F’ word you also mean: “I’d like to propose a toast to all the special ‘F’ words — to friends, family, fate, forgiveness, and forever.” – My First Mister

“I’m a human being and I fall in love and sometimes I don’t have control of every situation.” – Beyoncé

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

I think if I’m 40 and I don’t have any kids and I’m not married, I would have a baby artificially inseminated. I would feel like Mary – like Jesus is my baby. – Kim Kardashian

True love that lasts forever… yes, I do believe in it. My parents have been married for 40 years and my grandparents were married for 70 years. I come from a long line of true loves. – Zooey Deschanel

Craziest thing I’ve done for love is getting married. I think it’s crazy. I think it’s crazy, crazy, crazy. I’m never going to say I wouldn’t do it again but I have to make sure it’s love and not settling for the ‘I have to do this by a certain age,’ which is kind of what I did. – Jenny McCarthy

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. -Erma Bombeck

“Did you know that the institution of marriage was created when the average person lived to the age of 30?” – The Last Kiss

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

My wife tells me she doesn’t care what I do when I’m away, as long as I’m not enjoying it. Lee Trevino

“And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make.” – Paul McCartney

If women were particular about men’s characters, they would never get married at all.- George Bernard Shaw

For the best friends who eventually realized they wanted more: “Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.” – Juno

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. Rita Rudner

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast. –Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” – Robert Fulghum

“A simple ‘I love you’ means more than money.” – Frank Sinatra

Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. – Mark Twain

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball

I am blessed to have married the man that God sent me. He’s loving, compassionate, strong and supportive of my children, family and career. I look forward to our lives together. – Monica

For the couple that will use their passports more than their new toaster(s): “Life’s better with company. Everybody needs a copilot.” – Up in the Air

“Marriage is like a tense, unfunny, version of “Everybody Loves Raymond”, only it doesn’t last twenty-two minutes. It last forever.” – Knocked Up

For the couple who will forgive you the next day: “Marriage is like a tense, unfunny, version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It last forever.” – Knocked Up

People stay married because they want to, not because the doors are locked. Paul Newman

Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.Dr. Joyce Brothers

It is such a happiness when good people get together – and they always do. –Jane Austen

“I’d do anything to save my marriage but I just haven’t got the time.” – Sex and the Single Girl

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. -Bill Cosby

“We both said, ‘I do!’ and we haven’t agreed on a single thing since.” – So I Married an Axe Murderer

Every man’s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. Jerry Lewis

Come, let’s be a comfortable couple and take care of each other! How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with. – Charles Dickens

I’m getting married because I’m in love with a girl and want to spend my life with her. You can’t live your life doing what other people want you to or you’ll be miserable. At some point you just have to be yourself. – Dan Marino

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. -Zsa Zsa Gabor

“(To marry again) is the victory of optimism over experience.” – The Private Life of Henry VIII

I went from resenting my mother-in-law to accepting her, finally to appreciating her. What appeared to be her diffidence when I was first married, I now value as serenity. – Ayelet Waldman

“A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.” – The Joker is Wild

“Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller

“And I wouldn’t be the man I am today without the woman who agreed to marry me 20 years ago. Let me say this publicly: Michelle, I have never loved you more. I have never been prouder to watch the rest of America fall in love with you, too, as our nation’s first lady.” — President Barack Obama

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him. Cher

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot. Minnie Pearl

Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same. – Oscar Wilde

You look at someone like Beyonce singing ‘Single Ladies,’ when we all know she’s married. Some of it is just for entertainment. – Katy Perry

For the couple who took a while before admitting they were meant to be: “It doesn’t matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they are perfect for each other.” – Good Will Hunting

He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. Mae West

One tradition I have with my friends is that when one of us gets married, we have a ton of fragrance oils and pretty bottles at the bachelorette party. Everyone puts a drop or two in a bottle for the bride and makes a wish, and the bride wears our creation on her wedding day. – Jennifer Aniston

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married? Barbra Streisand

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a hell of a lot of overlapping. – Mignon McLaughlin

“What’s helped us is being supportive, no matter what the situation is. I’m so lucky to have someone like Jada. She’s really an incredible woman, wife and mother.” — Will Smith

“We’re getting a lot of pressure from the kids. We didn’t realize how much it meant to them and then, in getting engaged, how much it also means to us.” — Brad Pitt

From the best friend looking out for her always-independent gal: “If you’re thinking of getting married, you might as well learn right now that you have to let women be women.” – Hello, Dolly!

“You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, but you cannot make her laugh. I wanna go back. You can kiss my wife, but only I can take her to bed and make her laugh. I wanna go back. Only I can take her to bed, comma, and make her laugh.” — Phil Dunphy, Modern Family

“We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet…I mean, what does any one life mean? But, in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things…all of it, all the time, every day.” – Shall We Dance

There’s a big difference between falling in love with someone and falling in love with someone and getting married. Usually, after you get married, you fall in love with the person even more. – Dave Grohl

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. -Rita Rudner

If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. Johnny Carson

Any woman who still thinks marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition is only proving that she doesn’t understand either men or percentages. ~ Rose F. Kennedy

All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest – never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership. – Ann Landers

For the couple with the crazy “how we met” story: “If you’re not willing to sound stupid, you’re not worthy of falling in love.” – A Lot Like Love

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison. – Tim Allen

“Marriages don’t work when one partner is happy and the other is miserable. Marriage is about both people being equally miserable.” – Forget Paris

We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. Nick Faldo

“It’s probably not love if you don’t press your face to the toilet seat after they’ve used it to feel their warmth.” – Rob Delaney

“The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.” – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

“One plus one equals both.” – Gregory Maguire’s Son of a Witch

“If you text ‘I love you’ and the person writes back an emoji – no matter what that emoji is. They don’t love you back.” – Chelsea Peretti

“The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.” – Chris Rock

“Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.” – Katharine Hepburn

“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?”- Barbara Streisand

For the couple who surprised everyone: “The luckiest man in the world is he who finds true love.” – Dracula

It’s the moms of this nation – single, married, widowed – who really hold this country together. We’re the mothers, we’re the wives, we’re the grandmothers, we’re the big sisters, we’re the little sisters, we’re the daughters. You know it’s true, don’t you? You’re the ones who always have to do a little more. – Ann Romney

For the couple with a PDA habit: “You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.” – Gone With the Wind

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended. Zsa Zsa Gabor

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. –Katharine Hepburn

“When you have a baby, love is automatic, when you get married, love is earned.” – Marie Osmond

“I’m going to embarrass my kids — sex is important. Sex is really important.” – Kyra Sedgwick

I never even believed in divorce until after I got married. Diane Ford

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. -Billy Connolly

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie

Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution? – Groucho Marx

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single. – H. L. Mencken

“I met Miranda, and she just was that girl. I’m screwed now that I’ve met her, because I don’t know who could be better for me in my eyes and my mind. That’s just how she’s always been for me since I met her.” — Blake Shelton

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. -Rita Rudner

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. Katherine Hepburn

No wedding bells for me anymore. I’ve been happily married to my profession for years. – Shirley Bassey

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open. – George Bernard Shaw

Getting married, for me, was the best thing I ever did. I was suddenly beset with an immense sense of release, that we have something more important than our separate selves, and that is the marriage. There’s immense happiness that can come from working towards that. – Nick Cave

All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Ann Landers

“People stay married because they want to, not because the doors are locked.” – Paul Newman

“Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.” – William Shakespeare

“When choosing sexual partner, remember: Talent is not sexually transmittable.” – Tina Fey

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. -Joey Adams

For the pair everyone uses as an example of a functional couple: “Love is not a feeling; it’s an ability.” – Dan in Real Life

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? Rita Rudner

Mawidge is a dweam wiffin a dweam. The dweam of wuv wapped wiffin the gweater dweam of everwasting west. Eternity is our fwiend, wemember that, and wuv wiw fowwow you fowever. -William Goldman in The Princess Bride

I think you have to be willing to take a bullet for somebody if you’re going to stand up there, take your vows, and be married to them for the rest of your life. – Blake Shelton

“You deserve love and you’ll get it.” – Amy Poehler

“If you are ever with a girl that is too good for you – marry her.” – Valentine’s Day

On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable. – Emma Goldman

Had my own car at twelve years old. Left school in the tenth grade. Married when I was sixteen. Ain’t hard to figure out; I was a man at a very young age. – Joe Frazier

For your younger sister who needs one more explanation: “Do you ever put your arms out and just spin and spin and spin? Well, that’s what love is like. Everything inside of you tells you to stop before you fall, but you just keep going.” – Practical Magic

I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. Will Rogers

Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There’s always something. – Will Cuppy

From the long-term bachelor who has done this toast before: “I am as ever in bewildered awe of anyone who makes this kind of commitment…I know I couldn’t do it, so I think it’s wonderful they can.” – Four Weddings and a Funeral

What I tell young couples that are getting married is: you’re going to have quarrels, and on some things, you’re just going to have to agree to disagree. And when you go to bed at night, kiss each other and tell each other that you love each other. Don’t go to bed mad. Life is too short. Keep it simple. – Sir Robertson

I don’t care who anybody sleeps with. If a couple has been together all that time – and there are gay relationships that are more solid than some heterosexual ones – I think it’s fine if they want to get married. I don’t know how people can get so anti-something. – Betty White

“No, I mean I like you very much. Just as you are.” –Bridget Jones Diary

I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life. – Charles Bukowski

“Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.” – Wayne’s World

It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass. – Rodney Dangerfield

“A wedding is like a funeral, but with musicians.” – Mobsters

“As long as you know most men are like children, you know everything.” – Coco Chanel

No long-term marriage is made easily, and there have been times when I’ve been so angry or so hurt that I thought my love would never recover. And then, in the midst of near despair, something has happened beneath the surface. A bright little flashing fish of hope has flicked silver fins and the water is bright and suddenly I am returned to a state of love again — till next time. –Madeleine L’Engle

Men always want to be a woman’s first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man’s last romance – Oscar Wilde

For the couple you almost filed missing person’s reports for, only to learn they decided to watch the whole trilogy at once: “I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.” – The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring

“The ideal husband understands every word his wife doesn’t say.” – Alfred Hitchcock

I’m wide open to getting married, but actors are not easy people to date. You end up sharing that person with this other mistress that is their career. I very much like the traditional courtship method of making a date. That’s what they do in normal places, but Hollywood’s not normal. – Seth MacFarlane

To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous. –Elizabeth Gilbert

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

I’m a good son, a good father, a good husband – I’ve been married to the same woman for 30 years. I’m a good friend. I finished college, I have my education, I donate money anonymously. So when people criticize the kind of characters that I play on screen, I go, ‘You know, that’s part of history.’ – Samuel L. Jackson

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. – Martin Luther

“If you have someone that you think is The One, don’t just sort of think in your ordinary mind, ‘Okay, let’s pick a date. Let’s plan this and make a party and get married.’ Take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world, and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK, and you’re still in love with that person, get married at the airport.” – Bill Murray

“True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.” – Mindy Kailing

“I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other’s gaps…Love is absolute loyalty. People fade, looks fade, but loyalty never fades. You can depend so much on certain people; you can set your watch by them. And that’s love, even if it doesn’t seem very exciting.” – Sylvester Stallone

“The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.” – Oscar Wilde

“Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on x-rays. But you know it’s there.” – George Burns

“I’ve always said that I expected to grow up and get married like any nice southern girl, but the fact is you don’t get married in the abstract. You find someone that you’d like to be married to.” – Condoleezza Rice

“Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself.” – Oprah Winfrey

I think sometimes we look at other people’s marriages and we think they must always be so happy together. I don’t know anybody who’s married for a long time who hasn’t somehow made room in their love story for the hate and resentment that they sometimes feel toward each other. – Elizabeth Gilbert

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. Bill Cosby

When I did get married and then had children, it was Beatles’ songs I sang to them at night. As one of the youngest of 24 cousins, I had never held an infant or baby-sat. I didn’t know any lullabies, so I sang Sam and Grace to sleep with ‘I Will’ and ‘P.S. I Love You.’ – Ann Hood

“Look, you want to know what marriage is really like? Fine. You wake up, she’s there. You come back from work, she’s there. You fall asleep, she’s there. You eat dinner, she’s there. You know? I mean, I know that sounds like a bad thing, but it’s not.” -Ray Barone

The ideal husband understands every word his wife doesn’t say. Alfred Hitchcock

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. -Socrates

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. Red Skelton

“We have a couple of rules in our relationship. The first rule is that I make her feel like she’s getting everything. The second rule is that I actually do let her have her way in everything. And, so far, it’s working.” – Justin Timberlake

Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition. – Samuel Pepys

For the couple that put promotions before proposals: “Success is nothing without someone you love to share it with.” – Mahogany

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. Marilyn Monroe

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. – Lord Byron

“Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.” – Clue

Almost everything worthwhile carries with it some sort of risk, whether it’s starting a new business, whether it’s leaving home, whether it’s getting married, or whether it’s flying in space. – Chris Hadfield

“Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature.” – Letters to Juliet

If you’re married, and you have a wife, and you really love your wife, is it good enough to only say to your wife ‘I love her’ the day you get married? Or should you tell her every single day when you wake up and every opportunity? And that’s how I feel about my relationship with Jesus Christ is that it is the most important thing in my life. – Tim Tebow

“Continue to share your heart with people even if it’s been broken.” – Amy Poehler

“You have to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.” -Kevin Bacon

“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.” – The Fellowship of the Ring

For anyone, really. It works for anyone: “Be excellent to each other.” – Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

“It’s a little bit of an existential crisis after a while, because I wouldn’t have met my wife, (Emily Blunt), I wouldn’t have been out in L.A. Truly, when I say the show has given me everything, it’s given me everything.” — John Krasinski

Weddings take months to organize, and there are fittings and invitation lists and old aunts being coy about the honeymoon, and having to have somebody’s perfectly hideous cousin for a bridesmaid. And then hundreds of appalling wedding presents. Toast-racks and Japanese vases and pictures that never, in a million years, would you want to hang on the wall. And you spend all your time writing insincere thank-you letters with your fingers crossed, and everybody gets tense and miserable and there’s lots of bursting into tears. The miracle is that anybody ever gets married at all, but I bet most girls have nervous breakdowns on their honeymoons. –Rosamunde Pilcher

I know nothing about sex because I was always married. Zsa Zsa Gabor

There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again. Clint Eastwood

“When my beautiful bride turned the corner and I saw her for the very first time, I gotta say, I got a little emotional. The eyes started getting a little watery and she just looked like an Italian princess. As she was walking towards me, I started to kinda go! And then I saw my other little princess Gia as a flower girl and it was like game over.” — Mario Lopez

“There are two things for a marriage to be good. One is to work hard on it. The other one is to marry above you. And I succeeded at both of those.” — Ben Affleck

If I get married, I want to be very married. – Audrey Hepburn

The desire to get married, which – I regret to say, I believe is basic and primal in women – is followed almost immediately by an equally basic and primal urge – which is to be single again. – Nora Ephron

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.Katharine Hepburn

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him. -Cher

For the couple that got engaged over the Jumbotron: “Love is that can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kinda stuff.” – It Takes Two

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – When Harry Met Sally

Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done. Burt Reynolds

“Fuck it…that’s really the attitude that keeps a family together. Its not ‘We Love Each Other,’ It’s just ‘fuck it man.’” – Louis C.K.

Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution. –Mae West

It is really rare to find someone you really, really love and that you want to spend your life with and all that stuff that goes along with being married. I am one of those lucky people. And I think she feels that way too. So the romantic stuff is easy because you want them to be happy. – Harry Connick, Jr.

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. -Groucho Marx

We are gonna have tons and tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous ladies that get so aroused by the thought of marriage that they’ll throw their inhibitions to the wind. -Vince Vaughn as Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

“The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends.” – Gwyneth Paltrow

When you have a baby, love is automatic, when you get married, love is earned. Marie Osmond

I’m married to Metallica. – James Hetfield

For your little brother, who you can’t believe is getting married: “Even a pain in the ass needs someone to take care of them.” – 28 Days

“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water. The pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. – Groucho Marx

I’d imagine my wedding as a fairy tale… huge, beautiful and white. – Paris Hilton

Mom and Dad were married 64 years. And if you wondered what their secret was, you could have asked the local florist – because every day Dad gave Mom a rose, which he put on her bedside table. That’s how she found out what happened on the day my father died – she went looking for him because that morning, there was no rose. – Mitt Romney

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. – Red Skelton

“Marriage is the Jack Kevorkian of romance.” – The Story of Us

I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That’s getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. -Steve Martin as George Banks in Father of the Bride

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. – Groucho Marx

As for his secret to staying married: “My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me.” – Jon Bon Jovi

Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows, marriage does. Groucho Marx

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. Rodney Dangerfield

Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. Zsa Zsa Gabor

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein

I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he’d be dead within the year. ~ Bette Davis

When people get married because they think it’s a long-time love affair, they’ll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity. – Joseph Campbell

I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up.- Barbara Bush

“I love you right up to the moon — and back.” – Sam McBratney’s Guess How Much I Love You

I’m married to a white man, and then my daughter came out looking like the whitest white child with blonde hair and blue eyes. And I’m like, ‘Omigosh, now what am I going to do?’ She has my mom’s features and is lighter than my husband. And my boy is browner than I am. Brown eyes and really tan. – Karyn Parsons

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day. Mickey Rooney

“For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have their own bathroom!” – Catherine Zeta-Jones

For the couple that realized it…years after everyone else: “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – When Harry Met Sally

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. -Henny Youngman

If you accept that people are the products of evolution, then you have to have an open mind to the truth. Unfair discrimination exists whether we like it or not; I wouldn’t have married a gum-chewing vegetarian. – James D. Watson

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” – Albert Einstein

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