Nov 6, 2015
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Sarcastic, Cold Wedding Wishes & Quotes

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Sarcastic, Cold Wedding Wishes & Quotes


Twenty years of romance makes a woman look like a ruin; but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building

Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women.

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.

Marriage works best for men than women.The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.

The ritual of marriage is not simply a social event; it is a crossing of threads in the fabric of fate. Many strands bring the couple and their families together and spin their lives into a fabric that is woven on their children.

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man

Love in marriage should be the accomplishment of a beautiful dream, and not, as it too often is, the end.

I don’t understand a God that would allow us to meet When there is no way for us to be together.

Should I Smile Because You’re My Friend or Cry Because Thats All We’ll Ever Be

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal.

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out.

I don’t understand a God that would allow us to meet When there is no way for us to be together.

Marriage enlarges the scene of our happiness and of our miseries as well… poor me..

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.

We outgrow love like other things And put it in the drawer,Till an antique fashion shows Like costumes grandsires wore.

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers.

After about 20 years of marriage, I’m finally starting to scratch the surface of that one [what women want]. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.

A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.

Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death.

Marriage is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Marriage is like the army. Everybody complains, but you’d be surprised at how many re-enlist.

Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be.

Marriages are made in heaven. But again so are thunder lightning tornados and hail.

Marriage is like life in this that it is a field of battle and not a bed of roses.

Marriage is a great institution. No family should be without it.

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.

Sometimes it was worth all the disadvantages of marriage just to have that: one friend in an indifferent world

Many are the stars I see, but in my eye no stars like thee.

Marriage is miserable unless you find the right person that is your soulmate and that takes a lot of looking.

A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.

On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.

The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters.

Success in marriage is much more than finding the right person; it is a matter of being the right person

Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising

They asked her (Ruth Graham) did she ever think about divorce and she said, ‘No, I’ve never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage, but,’ she said, ‘I did think of murder a few times

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.

The more you invest in a marriagee the more valuable it become.

A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you.

If marriage were outlawed only outlaws would have in laws.

I miss the way you laughed, I miss the way we talked, I miss the times we had, I miss the love we shared, but most of all I miss the way you cared.

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.

Love a temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you and you meant nothing to him.

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

Marriage is a wonderful institution…but who wants to live in an institution?

In business partnerships and marriage partnerships, O’ the cheating that goes on

I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one’s life, the foundation of happiness or misery.

I will hate the man you marry, Because he is not me, And love him if he makes you smile.

Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it’s a mistake to make a habit out of it.

A marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.

Marriage is like a fort, those who are in want out, those who are out want in.

The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you.

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.

There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage

Marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she’s a householder

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Life may be sad but it’s always beautiful.

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.

Cry as I may these tears won’t wash you away.

And a sad truth, “Wives are young men’s mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men’s nurses.

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

Marriage is an Athenic weaving together of families, of two souls with their individual fates and destinies, of time and eternity – everyday life married to the timeless mysteries of the soul.

Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

Any woman who still thinks marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition is only proving that she doesn’t understand either men or percentages

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.

Always remember that the most important thing in a good marriage is not happiness, but stability.

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Life is just a mirror,and what you see out there,you must first see inside of you.

Marriage is an institution and that’s where a couple finish up.

Marriage is a great institution but I’m not ready for an institution.

Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn’t want to and he couldn’t.

Marriage is not a simple love affair, it’s an ordeal, and the ordeal is the sacrifice of ego to a relationship in which two have become one

Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.

Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person

We outgrow love like other things And put it in the drawer, Till an antique fashion shows Like costumes grandsires wore.

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after. Forty is when you watch the TV during. Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

If we must lose wife or husband when we live to our highest right, we lose an unhappy marriage as well, and we gain ourselves. But if a marriage is born between two already self-discovered, what a lovely adventure begins, hurricanes and all.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred

Sometimes soft words of love can melt the toughest heart.

Those marriages generally abound most with love and constancy that are preceded by a long courtship.

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out

Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.

Marriage is a coming together for better or for worse, hopefully enduring, and intimate to the degree of being sacred.

After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three meals a day, sharing the workload and remembering to carry out the trash

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give.

Attainment is followed by neglect, possession by disgust, and the malicious remark of the Greek epigrammatist on marriage may be applied to many another course of life, that its two days of happiness are the first and the last

Marriage changes passion… suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

To keep the fire burning brightly there’s one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart-about a finger’s breadth-for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.

The formula for a happy marriage? It’s the same as the one for living in California: when you find a fault, don’t dwell on it

In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly

Marriage is like a besieged castle; those who are on the outside wish to get in; and those who are on the inside wish to get out.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to ‘Until debt do us part’.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Time turns the old days to derision, Our loves into corpses or wives; And marriage and death and division make barren our lives.

Some of us think holding onmakes us strong but sometimes it is letting go.

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes in between them.

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